No one dared to say anything. No one dared to act stupidly.
My heart trembled, horrifi ed and blackened, knowing that he was killing a chicken to frighten the monkey.
The following two or three months were hell. I could no longer look him in the eye yet, almost everyday, I had to stand before him. My voice collapsed as the fi les slipped from my numb fi ngers to an empty place on his large desk under his large nose. Every single second facing him alone was a remark of a record of another long hour. I wished to hit the back wall with my forehead. The world darkened day by day. At work, I was a small joint of a large chain dragged along by machines; after work, I became an alien in the form of an afterbirth, mooning around like time was running backward and the earth squaring.